2/21/09

They Didn't Make their Beds!


On Monday night we had last minute guests over for dinner. So right before they arrived, I went upstairs to make sure the bathroom was in decent shape and a clean towel was out, and then I peeked in on our kids’ rooms.

And they didn’t make their beds!

Years ago the beds not being made would have driven me crazy, but now – well, I have more other important things to worry about than if my teens make their beds. It’s not really a battle I want to fight every day!

The good news is our dinner was amazing and it went like this.

Set a simple table


Used paper napkins


Frozen beef/rice out of freezer for QUICK enchiladas


Softened avocados for homemade guacamole


Guests brought yummy coconut cream pie


And even if they looked in this room


Or this room (Hello Filly!)


I doubt they would have minded the beds not being made.

And if they looked in this room


Well, let’s say her Mama was happy – she did make her bed all on her own!

All of this to say we had a wonderful night – sitting around the table with our friends and the kids, laughing and sharing stories. I didn’t vacuum, dust, make the beds, or even clean the bathrooms (I just made sure they were tidied up). (Added note: I didn't make the kid's beds - I do make my bed every morning - faithfully:)

What I did do was I made sure the meal was prepared and ready to eat when our guests arrived, and that my table was set, and a cozy environment was made for all.

I know of some ladies who still make all of the beds in their homes, because that is important to
them!


I’d love to hear if you still make your kids’ beds?

And if not, does it bother you if they’re not made when company arrives?

Congrats to Lucy from An Ordinary Mom and Kim from Art of Domestic Living, and Kirstin from Loving Life - who won Nettie’s Vanilla Syrup!

Upcoming Guest Posts!
Some of my very best blogging buddies will be
sharing with you some of their entertaining stories & insights here on Reluctant Entertainer! Stay tuned for Rhoda's story coming up!

65 comments:

Kim said...

Thank you so much!! We are actually eating your buttermilk pancakes this morning. Thanks to the big batch we made yesterday! Have a great Sunday!!

Gray Matters said...

A made bed is very important to my husband. He was brought up in a home where it was mandated everyday. I was brought up much differently - I don't recall ever being asked (or told) to make up my bed. Our kids are 4, 3 and 1 - so I'm not sure an appropriate age to begin showing them how to make up their beds. Needless to say, if the beds in our house are made up, it's because my husband did it!

slip4 said...

In our house, the rule was that when you start Kindergarten, you are expected to make your bed each day. That worked through elementary school, but by high school, my teenagers routinely don't make their beds. With teenagers, the "non-negotiables" are manners, civility, no drinking or drugs, etc. so unmade beds are not my priority. I do reserve the right to require that they be made when guests come, and they cooperate.

Jen said...

Good Morning. I make Miller's bed..but he is 3. We make our bed early in the morning...it make me feel better to have it done and over. Madison never makes her bed. When we have company I normally clean her room to my liking.

Sweet P said...

Confession time - I was never a bed maker and didn't make my sons make their beds. However, when I was sick for 6 months last year, I did start making my bed every day and found I enjoyed it - not just making it, but coming into our bedroom during the day and then to go to bed at night and seeing a made bed with fluffy pillows made me smile. So I am a converted bed maker.

CandiceM said...

We had our first spur of the moment guests Sunday!! There was a couple (plus 3 kids) at our church who travel about 40 minutes to get there and church was starting an hour later that Sunday- so I invited them over!! The house was *clean* but not my standard of clean to have people over (i.e. spotless!)

It was so nerve wracking for me!! LOL!! I was thinking about you the whole time!! I even made dinner w/out having planned to feed them ANYTHING! Black Bean soup and PBJ's for the kids.

Thank you so much for being an inspiration! I don't think I could of done that w/out having read for blog for months! I'm going to try to update my blog about this- is it okay if I quote some of your blog? (giving proper credit- of course!)

FlipFlop Mom said...

I make my sons bed still.. gulp.. and he's 13.. my daughter.. no.. she's 18.. but she was keeping her room clean and up from age 10 and up....
Why can't I let go of my son and MAKE him do it???

As for my bed.. it only gets made on the weekends.. due to me sleeping nights and hubby sleeping days... no sense... although sometimes I do cause it feels so good to slide into a made up bed!!

YOUR dinner looked fabulous!!!! mmmm

jdm said...

My husband is the last one out of bed in the morning and he is not a bed maker. He'll pull the comforter up, but doesn't care that it is crooked to no end. On the days I'm around in the morning to make the beds, I just love it. To come home to a clean space does my heart and mind good and provides a peace and calm.

Sgt and Mrs Hub said...

Nope, I don't make my kids beds... well, except the baby ;)
Eve (5) and Judah (3) make their own. It's never perfect, though Eve does an excellent job, but I don't care. Daniel and I have always said to them that we don't require perfection. What we do ask for is that they try their very best. And with that, we will be satisfied.

Your evening of entertaining sounds like it was wonderful! Yummy looking guacamole!

-Andrea

Sarah Herman said...

I do make the beds each morning before we leave for the day. It makes me feel like my house is in order when I come home. (even if everything else isn't!) :) When we have guests,which is frequently,my kids are given specific chores to complete before the guests come. (they don't mind because it means they get to play in the end) This works great because I have time to focus on the meal and my kids get a lesson in responsibility!

Monkey Giggles said...

What a lovely evening it looks like you guys had. I gave up the battle of making beds a LONG time ago.

tinkerverve said...

I absolutely DO NOT make my kids' beds, in fact, I feel a real sense of accomplishment when I make my own each morning.

Donnetta said...

Actually this post was a relief to hear it is okay if the beds don't get made! I did not grow up in a home that stressed bed making.

Like you, I choose my battles and this is one I've chosen not to fight.

I have started making ours more consistently. Thankfully the kids haft loft beds so it's not as noticeable that theirs aren't made. :-)

Dawn-Hydrangea Home said...

Sounds like a fun night. Good question, for company, I make my bed and my youngest daughter's bed. My other 3 children are expected to make their own beds, not perfectly but that's ok with me. I can't get too crazy especially since on some days, my own bed isn't even made.

jenjen said...

It sounds like a wonderful night. The food looks great! I try to have all of my kids make their beds themselves. My 4 year old has a hard time. And my 13 year old always has to be reminded. The other two are good and almost always do it.

Have a good Sunday!

Jen

Betts said...

My daughter (age 6) makes her ed on weekends. I make hers every once in awhile if I go in to tidy up or collect laundry. Mine doesn't get made everyday since I'm the first one up. If I go up later to clean or something, I'll make it.

Org Junkie said...

Nope I don't make the kid's beds and don't demand they do either. I pick my battles and that one just isn't worth it to me.

Stacey said...

I have to admit that when I know company is coming those beds just have to be made. Mine is made each day...the boys are occasional.

Darcy @ lwm3b said...

I don't make my kids' beds and mine are still little. My 7 and 8 year olds can do it themselves, but don't always. Since we are home a lot, we have a lot of other things that matter more as I split the role of teacher and mom.

And that is not a hill worth dying on.

Elizabeth said...

I do not make my kids' beds. They all make their own (down to the four-year-old). Not without some nagging, however. ;) And, yes, I want all the beds to be made if we're having company. However, I realize that when I am at a friend's home and see an unmade bed, I don't think a thing of it. So I could probably use a lesson in lightening up just a bit. Ha!

Julie Gillies said...

Sandy,
My kid's rooms are on the other side of the house. Most days I don't even SEE them! On the days I DO look in, my daughter's bed is ALWAYS made, but my son's is NEVER made.

Like you, I've learned to choose my battles. Although we require a weekly room tidying, I've learned to let go of spotlessly clean room dreams. Now we have peace instead! LOL

ursula said...

yes, I make my bed and the kids' beds, but they are four and six.....it might be time for the six year old to pitch in??? also, could you please post the guacomole recipe? it looks heavenly! thanks
Ursula at uswood1@optonline.net

Mod Girl said...

Tidy beds are important to me so I make mine everyday, as well as the toddler's. The six year does his own sometimes and I do it sometimes.

Carmen said...

We never make our beds. *blush* I only do it if I *know* someone will be coming over and they will see our bedrooms.

The dinner sounds delish. :)

An Ordinary Mom said...

Thanks so much for the fun giveaway!

The Lind Family said...

I love a made bed, but it doesn't bother me like it used to if the kids don't make theirs everyday. When guests come over, I make sure ours is made because the master bedroom is downstairs. The kids rooms are upstairs and rarely does an adult guest go up there. I figure if were having a great time...who is going to care about a bed!

Anonymous said...

I rarely make any beds, my husband can't stand an unmade bed so he makes ours but if he's gone for a few days...well I might pull the covers up to keep the cat hair off my sheets. My kids are 18 and 19 and never make their beds, it bugs him but he's given up nagging them (finally).
Cindy

Sandy Toes said...

My kids make their beds but I do go behind and "perfect" them. I am picky about the house and would have a hard time if the beds were not made!

What a great idea of the meat and rice all together...love that!

I love paper napkins....I use them all the time with guests!
-sandy toe

ValleyGirl said...

That's one thing I can honestly say I couldn't care less about right now. My girls are 4 and 7 and their room is our entire 1/2-storey, so the only reason anyone ever goes up there when we've got people over is when other kids go up to play. I figure they won't care either!!

Mmmmmmmmmm, now you've got my mouth a-waterin' for some guacamole!!! Nuts, and grocery day isn't until WEDNESDAY!

Half Gaelic, Half Garlic! said...

I was always after Nick to make his bed....he is finally getting to the point that it is becoming automatic and part of his everyday routine......HOORAY!!

I am OCD and those kinds of things still drive me nuts when company is coming....everything always has to look picture perfect....I have been trying to get more relaxed about it, but I can't help myself.....I need to let the little things go!!

Hope you had a wonderful weekend:)

Lisa

An Accomplished Woman said...

First, I love your freezer full of dinners. You are such a great hostess.

My children made their beds until they were teenagers.... and rushing out of school. It still drove me a little crazy but I decided to pic k my battles.

The Summer Kitchen Interiors said...

I love a made bed....and three kids in the house can't quite understand their mamma! Most days, I tug up the sheets to have it look nice.....don't know what it is {probablly my mom's obsession!}, but it always is nice getting into a bed that you have to turn down! Call me crazy!!

Heidi said...

my 3 1/2 year old has "made her bed" since she was about 2 1/2. I firmly believe that kids are SO VERY capable of SO much more. I taught her how. She does it. It doesn't look perfect but she is proud SHE did it. And I never "remake it" or straighten it to my liking. BTW - she also empties the dishwasher and sets the table and helps wtih laundry...works for me! :)

Angie said...

I love entertaining :) And my kids' rooms are always messes... I just figure, they're kids and people understand. I only make my bed if I know someone will see it... lol

Jen - Balancing beauty and bedlam said...

I need to get back to the making our bed is important routine...we've jumped ship on that bandwagon and I don't like it (hmm...but I think I have a bit here and there as well...confession time.) Going up to make the bed, and get some meat dethawed for dinner. :)

Maureen said...

There was a time when I wouldn't leave my house in the AM until the bed was made, but then I had kids. I know it's a rare event for our room to look organized because when it is, my two-year-old makes a comment.

Dawn said...

I make my bed every day. The kids, not so much. If we have "advanced notice" of guests, they know they are expected to have their beds made, too. However, if we have company arrive unexpectedly and they aren't made, I just close the door to their room. My closest friends know that if a door is closed, it's for a reason - they love to tease me about it! Ha!

Shannon said...

I must have all the beds made in our house everyday! We do not leave the house until they are. Usually, we just make them first thing before heading downstairs. Our son is only 4, so we still make his bed, but he is starting to help us. It will definitely be his responsibility soon (which I'm sure I'll go behind him and straighten it up to my liking)! I am of the mindset that "you never know when someone is going to stop by" so the house should be in "show ready" condition at all times (thank you OCD!). However, I do also know that when I go out of town, my husband doesn't make our bed once until the day I come back! HA!

Misti of Studio M Designs said...

Hi there! I just came across your blog from The Inspired Room, and love it.

As for our beds, I am still a little crazy when it comes to the beds, they must be made. If for some reason I don't get the chance to make them, my boys ask me to make them before they climb in at night. It does make you sleep better when the covers and smooth and not all tangled. My 16 yr old son makes his first thing, he is a bit OCD like that, not sure WHERE it came from... : )
I'll be back to visit really soon!
~Misti

Liz said...

When my children were home they were in charge of their rooms (until you could no longer walk through them) and it was up to them to make their beds. I started this when they were about 5 but before that they were expected to help me clean up their rooms. When we had guests their beds were to be made. I did a lot of door closing and ignoring-there were more important battles to fight.

Melissa @ The Inspired Room said...

I do make my son's bed, BUT I have loosened up CONSIDERABLY in the past few years in what I think must be done to entertain! I cannot tell you how freeing that is and how much easier it is to love other people when I am not bogged down by perfectionist tendencies!

xo

Kristen said...

I've discovered that when I tell my kids to make their beds, they do. But, at 7, 5 and 2 1/2 they don't make them like "I" would make them...it is easier to just let it go and for them to feel like they are doing a good thing than to go in and re-make what they've already done!

GiBee said...

Weeeelllll -- truth be told... I'd love to make my bed every day, but don't. I try to make it on the weekends, though... but I rarely make Hunter's bed unless we have guests coming.

And, no... I don't stress if the beds aren't made, because I'm not giving a tour of my home... I live by a motto my friend always told me...

"If you want to visit me, come any time. If you want to visit my home, call first."

;o)

Connie said...

I make my bed every morning...it's just a habit. I taught the kids to make their beds when they were little and reminded them when they were teens. With the last one...it's wasn't worth the fight and when he comes home and leaves it will always be unmade. If I have company, I just shut the door now. I guess with age it doesn't bother me as much. Your meal makes me hungry and it's just breakfast time here for me. Always love to see what you are up to. Connie

tidymom said...

Isn't it funny how some things (made beds) are SO important to some, and other's could care less about it. LOL

Hubby or I make our bed EVERY day, this actually bother my hubby just a little more than it does me. My kids, do not. Would I LIKE for them to make their beds, yes, but like you, it's not something I want to battle every day and their doors are usually kept shut, so company doesn't see them any way.

~TidyMom

robinrane said...

I love a made up bed...my kids are grown and out of the house but they made their beds when they were younger, not me. I never made my bed growing up, never lifted a finger in the house, so I wanted my kiddos to be able to keep a home by the time they moved out and on their own. (Not so sure they make their beds every day now though :)

Kirstin said...

I can't wait for my syrup to arrive!!! I'll post on it as soon as I get it so I can share pictures and everything.
I don't make my girls beds. And I don't clean their rooms either if company comes and it's not done. That's their responsibility and their "bummer" if people go into their room and it's a mess. thankfully though my oldest is a bit of a neat freak, so it's important to her that their room be clean.

I really need to get in a habit of having some things pre-made in the freezer for last minute meals.

Elizabeth G. said...

Hi, Sandy -

I love pictures of your table settings!

My 13 yo dd makes her bed. My son doesn't do ANYTHING unless I force him. Ugh. We moved his bed away from the wall Saturday, hopefully this week (today he is ill) he will be better able to make his bed.

have a great day!
Elizabeth

ReminisceHeirlooms said...

Can't wait to try these yummy looking pancakes!!!

cindy said...

I love to curl up in a freshly made bed, but since we lost Joshua it just hasn't seemed that important. We only have Justin and I don't think he has ever made his bed in his life. It just isn't that important anymore.

LuLu said...

What a great evening you had, and "yes, i confess I make my kids beds... but they aren't teens yet. 1 almost is, but i can't help myself, i need to try one time when company comes and not worry if the beds are made... live on the wild side that would be :) hee hee
LuLu

Kim said...

Who makes up beds?? You're just getting in them later?! ha!

Just kidding - I do try to make mine up daily! My kids on the other hand still take naps - I really see no point in trying to make theirs!

Melissa Lewis - Off The Wall said...

Well, I don't have any kids, but I used to freak out when I knew people were coming over. I would hurriedly dust and vacuum and make the place as spotless as possible. Now, I just relax. The evening is just as lovely, if not more, with a little dust on my shelves:)

DebraK from ~the Bunnies Bungalow~ said...

I must make the bed! An unmade bed just ruins the feel of the room. IMHO...lol

Your dinner looks great! Sometimes it's just so hard to relax with guests because you want everything to be perfect.
I always think of inviting guests but rarely do.
Take Care, DebraK

Anonymous said...

I train my children to make their own beds by the age of 4. I do not expect perfection, but do expect improvement as they mature. No breakfast until it's done.
Holly

Cathy said...

My son makes his every morning. The rest of us fell off the wagon years ago.

Jenny said...

My boys, ages 6 and 4, make their own beds, but I do straighten up my 3 year old twin girls' beds when they're through making them. I know I probably shouldn't, but I do.

And yes, it would bother me if their beds weren't made when company arrived. :)

Walking on Sunshine... said...

Hi, this is the first time I'm visiting your blog. Love it! Just wanted to say that YES I use to make sure the kids were beds were made, but have relaxed now and just close the door. I can't however, neglect their bathroom and must wipe the sink down every morning after they have left for school. Great party you had!

Miss G said...

I really do like the bed to be made. It makes everything look and feel nicer to me. My wonderful husband knows this about me and will make it up often if he is the last one to get up in the morning. When I have kids we'll see what happens. We had a friend over last night and everything was far from how I would have ideally liked it clean/decorations wise but things were picked up and I made certain parts nice and I doubt he ever noticed anything amiss. Kelly

Kathleen Ellis said...

Just discovered your lovely blog via Rhoda...I'm following and looking forward to getting to know you!

Oh...my kids are grown now but...they did have to make their beds and if they forgot...occasionally I would make them...and if company was coming...well, it depended on who it was...sometimes I'd send them up to make their bed, sometimes I'd shut the door and sometimes it just didn't register on the radar, if you know what I mean!
Now, they are all out on their own, 2 married, and of the 3 of them I can confidently say 1 makes her bed faithfully everyday( she is 30!)...as do I! Perhaps one day the pther 2 will as well...but, if not, I don't have to walk by and see it!!!
Have a fabulous day!
;-D
Kathleen

Composing Hallelujahs said...

our kids don't really use covers. so there's nothing to "make". my oldest daughter just recently started using an actual top sheet and cover and she does make her bed every morning but if she didn't i probably wouldn't mind.

Anonymous said...

My kids rarely make their beds and it drives my mother nuts that I don't make them. I figure life is too short to worry about simple little things like that and I think people should want to come over to hang out with my not my overly clean house. We rarely make our beds and we're all still healthy and alive and loving life with unmade beds!

Bonita said...

I came over by way of Rhoda's blog. I like your blog a lot especially since I'm rather domestically challenged. I'll definitely by back!

Will you share your enchilada recipe?

cozonacs said...

I was never a bed maker until my in-laws moved in with me - and then I did it out of shame! Since then, we moved to Eastern Europe and we live in an itsy bitsy apartment where our living room is the master bedroom. We sleep on a fold-out couch. So every morning we take the sheets off the bed and haul all the bedding back to the baby's room and fold the couch back up so we can have guests. As for the kids' beds, the youngest is in a crib and the older two share a fold-out couch - they sleep horizontal on it with one at the head and one at the foot. Their blankets don't fit on it, so they can't make it themselves. I typically arrange their bedding to look presentable though.

Hubby is a pastor, and in this culture, homes are to be kept spotless, and guests typically don't call before dropping in. I keep my home in a state of relative clean - the best I can with 3 kids under 4 - so we can invite our guests in when they drop in.

It's been an adventure, and I'm hoping that my attitude about things not needing to be 'perfect' will speak to the women here and pull them away from the cultural demand for perfection and trend toward legalism.

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