10/24/07

Confidence Builder

We are all faced with great opportunities brilliantly disguised as impossible situations. You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do. --Eleanor Roosevelt

My husband recently took a required national coaching test, and on that test he learned that the number one creator of confidence in kids is past performance.

This last week Abby and I were getting ready to head out to a wedding rehearsal, as she was going to be playing her violin in her first wedding! She was practicing and telling her Daddy how nervous she was. “You can do it, baby,” Paul told her. Then he explained the above scenario to her, which really encouraged her.

How many times has she performed in church, talent shows, or for dinner parties? She has had success, so experiencing what her Daddy explained to her, her confidence was already boosted.

I can’t help but relate this story to the reluctant entertainer. The one who really desires to start practicing hospitality, but something is holding them back.

I am encouraging YOU to reach out this month, to invite some guests over, and get one successful dinner party under your “apron.” (Dinner party as in – dinner around your table or a buffet dinner or even take-out or pizza!) JUST DO IT!

If you take your mind off of the details and the worries of “what if,” and realize that people don’t really care about perfection and that most are longing for connection, I guarantee you’ll be completely surprised by the outcome!

If you are reluctant, will you reach out?

If you are not reluctant, will you share a story that boosted your confidence?

If you want to read another thought-provoking post that I wrote earlier this year on "Squelching Fear" go here!

(Photos: Abby getting ready to play her violin and then eyeing her Daddy as he says, "You can do it!")

19 comments:

Everyday Yogini said...

Thank you for your inspiration!! My family is moving to Rome, Italy, where we will be entertaining a lot! I feel fortunate to have stumbled upon your blog~ I will refer to it often...

ValleyGirl said...

And I bet your daughter did a wonderful job at the wedding! You're so right about building confidence, and yet it is so terribly difficult to focus on the KNOWN successes rather than fretting and fussing about the UNknown success of potential future events when planning them! I will certainly try to keep this in mind in the future. Thanks for the encouragement!!

Nunnie's Attic said...

I love the quote from Eleanore Roosevelt. I think I'll have to share that with a fellow blogger!

We entertain all of the time and I love it. But I admit, I still get a little nervous when it's a huge dinner like Christmas. It doesn't stop me, but it still happens.

Your daughter is beautiful! I am assuming she did marvelously at the wedding? And Kudos to you and your husband for building up her confidence instead of tearing it down. Even not acknowledging anything would have been as bad as saying "you'll fail."

Love,
Julie

rebekka said...

"...people don’t really care about perfection and that most are longing for connection"...so true! What a great quote!

Although, I will say...I think a couple of people in this world do care about perfection...but let's not invite them over to dinner unless they're family and we HAVE to deal with them...haha said too much.

Becca said...

Sandy, just wanted to leave another testimony to the power of hospitality. We have been opening up our home for any and everyone to visit and have been having a blast doing it!

Now, we are being called "connectors" and "gifted hosts"--not because we do anything special when folks come over. We just enjoy having people around us. It really is such a confidence builder to just DO IT. Thanks for all your advice and encouragement!

Carrie said...

Thank you for this post. My husband and I love to have people over and we love the connections that are made....I just love how people linger for so long because they feel so comfortable at our home. The kids have come to love it too and they are excited to help prepare the home to welcome guests.

Mrs. B. said...

That picture of Abby is beauitful! Look at her perfect hair. (I have a lot of nice things to say about hair lately, huh? ;)
Music is such a wonderful gift to share.

Sandy said...

Mrs. B -- Addie (from last post) did Abby's hair :)

Redneck Nerdboy! said...

One of the greatest things to see is your son or daughter smile because they know you're proud of them!

Barb said...

No worries when Miz Abby's playin'--she's superb! Luv the Sideways Abby view!

Jenster said...

Your Abby is beautiful! And I love the violin. I play "around" on the violin so I admire anyone who plays as well as your daughter. GOOD FOR HER!!

I was eased into entertaining as a young wife of 22 who moved from California to Arkansas - the South. We used to go out to dinner with three other couples once a month. After each meal out we'd go to one couple's home for dessert. Or sometimes we'd meet at someone's place for pizza and games.

Pretty soon it turned into more meals or maybe potluck at someone's house.

While we all enjoyed the food so very much (I can't emphasize that enough!), it was the friendship and fellowship and laughter and silliness and whatever that was the true reason for getting together.

All that was just my training for the next step and then the next step, etc.

It also doesn't hurt that I was raised with a "they're coming to see me, not a perfect house or a perfect meal" attitude. :o)

Holly said...

I always love visiting your blog because you always remind me of important things that I've pushed aside. Congrats to your lovely, talented daughter!

I love your thoughts, especially about connection being more important than perfection. So true. I also enjoyed your post on thank you notes. Even though they may not be expected, it's such a thoughtful gesture--and they are appreciated when received.

Kathleen Marie said...

What an encouraging post! Thank you! Your daughter is just lovely! God Bless!

Tiffany Stuart said...

I love this challenge to reach out. I tend to be too insecure with my cooking to invite others in. Yet when I do, I like it. I love connecting with people face-to-face.

Great photo!

Nadine said...

What a wonderful story of encouragement. Your daughter is very pretty. That's wonderful she had the opportunity to share her talents.

Elizabeth said...

Three cheers for Abby! I bet she did great! You should record her playing and post the audio to your blog. (Don't ask me how to do that though. ;)

Tammy said...

Thank you for your encouraging words. It is hard to remember that people just long to be connected and really don't care that there may be dust on the mantle or that the desert was store bought. Thanks for the reminder!

Bettsi McComb said...

Sandy, I did! I had my stepfather, brother and sister-in-law over for dinner. It was great! I kept reminding myself of why I wanted to have them over and I was so relaxed and had such a good time! Thank you for all of your encouragement!

Lady-in-the-Making said...

Yikes! I just did this! I'm new to this homemaking thing (a reformed feminist). But I just emailed my sister a nice letter and asked her to come over one night this week for dinner. YIKES! She hasn't accepted yet but I will let you know. Your blog is definitely an inspiration. I'd love to start a Balcony Girls group in my area.